“Don’t tell people your goals”

Is this a good idea?

Or do I need people to hold me accountable?

I suspect the answer is, “A little from column A, and a little from column B.”

Are there positive people in your life who will help and support you? Tell them.

The crabs can stay in the dark. They’ll find out what your goals were when you accomplish them.

Get help

Most guys are bad at asking for help.

I’m horrible at it. I could win prizes for being bad at asking for help, if such a thing existed.

That’s no good.

We all know we can’t do it all ourselves. But we think asking for help is weak.

Unless you’re moving. No one thinks they should have to move all their stuff themselves, for some reason. Why is that the exception?

There’s nothing weak about needing help. Most people are happy to help. Especially the people who care about you. Sometimes they’ll even try to help without being asked. That’s how much they want to help.

I’m writing this to myself. And you.

Put your pride down. Let people know where you need their help.

I know you don’t want to be a burden. I don’t. No one does.

Are your loved ones a burden to you? Sure they are.

Do you mind shouldering that burden. Probably not, unless they’re constantly bugging you.

So why shouldn’t you be okay being a bit of a burden to them? Don’t expect them to carry all the weight, but let them help.

You won’t get very far on your own.

You need a Mentor

What exactly is a mentor?

A mentor is a real teacher. They have experience doing what they teach.

If you’re learning to fly, your instructor had better be a skilled pilot.

Swimming instructors needs to be good swimmers.

That’s common sense.

So if you want to become a baker, find an experienced baker. Someone with years of experience. Preferably decades. Someone who can tell whether the dough is ready to bake by the way it feels. Who can tell if the cake is ready by the smell. Not someone who only bakes from boxed mixes. Or who has never baked at all.

If you’re going to start investing, find a millionaire investor. Someone who will help you figure out whether an investment is a good risk.

Or, *ahem*, if you want to be a professional blogger, find someone who is making a good living at blogging. (I still need to do this.)

If a potential mentor asks you to do something for them, do it. As long as it’s not immoral. If they are truly great at what you want to do, it will be worth it.

Eventually you’ll outgrow your first mentor. Or you’ll want to improve in a different area. Keep looking for mentors who can help you grow.

Someday you’ll be the best in your field.

Remember those who helped you.

Pay it forward.

Success leaves clues

Very few people have become successful on their own.

Almost none, in fact.

They had help.

Someone else has already done what you want to do. Or something similar.

Study the lives of these people. Learn from their failures, and their successes.

Lots of successful people write books. About their lives. About what they’ve learned. These books are a road map to success.

Read these books. Lots of them. Soon you’ll know what to do.

Or at least how to get started.

What is success?

Success implies greatness. Or at least above-averageness.

That doesn’t have to mean financial success.

It could mean you’ve raised great kids.

Or you have a great marriage.

Or that you’ve inspired others to be great.

Maybe you’ve quietly made a lot of little contributions to other people’s lives.

Ultimately, I think success means living your dream life, and helping others live theirs.