Fear of Discomfort?

Why is it so hard to quit things I know are bad for me?

Maybe just because I don’t want to be uncomfortable.

I know if I ever want to achieve anything worthwhile, I’m going to have to leave my comfort zone.

But it’s so comfortable there!

I’ve let my body call the shots for too long.

It’s time to put my spirit in charge.

It’s holding me back

My porn addiction.

Yup, it’s still there.

I don’t talk about it much.

I’m sure it’s part of the reason I feel like I don’t deserve a better life.

I relapse.

I feel bad about myself.

I relapse again to try to feel better.

That’s the thing. In the moment it feels good.

After a few relapses I start becoming numb to the shame. Like wading out into cold water. At first it’s shocking. Painful. Until you get used to it.

Then I get lazy for a while.

And there’s the part that doesn’t even want to quit. The part that enjoys it. It’s like eating an all-candy diet. It’s terrible for you, but it tastes good in the moment.

Send Yourself Some Love

When I do my mirror work, I give myself a pep talk.

I call myself by name. Send myself some love.

“Phil, I love you.”

Feels a little weird. So what?

I build myself up. Like I’m talking to one of my boys. What would I want to hear from my dad?

It doesn’t take long, usually just a minute or two.

At first I wrote down affirmations and read those to myself. Now I keep it more informal.

I’ve thought of more ways to improve.

Maybe that means it’s working.

We’ll see.

Be willing to experiment

Bubbling Beaker

How can you expect your life to improve if you won’t change anything?

If you won’t try anything new?

If there’s something you think will make your life better, try it for 30 days. Then evaluate.

Is your life better than it was before? Worse? Just different?

If you want to keep this change, it’s probably on the way to becoming a habit.

Otherwise, drop it.

Then try a new experiment.

Self-improvement is an act of love

Hugging the World

As you work on yourself, some people will criticize you. They’ll say things like, “self improvement is selfish.”

These people are crabs. Don’t listen to them.

You were given talents for a reason.

Self improvement will make your life better.

Once you’ve improved yourself, you’ll be in a better position to improve the world around you.

There’s a YouTuber called Mr. Beast. My boys love him. A lot of his videos are dumb, but they’re popular and make him a lot of money. Does a lot of that money go to dumb things? Sure. But he’s also very generous.

In one video he bought a bunch of cars and opened a car dealership. He sold the cars to people in need for ridiculously low prices. In one case he gave someone money and a car. He also started #TeamTrees with YouTuber Mark Rober and raised money to plant 20,000,000 trees.

I still think a lot of his videos are dumb. So what? He’s a great example of what good people can do when they have money.

Money’s not the only way to help people, though.

Improve your spirituality, and lift the people around you that way.

Become a personal trainer or a dietician and help people be healthier.

Become a therapist and help people with emotional issues.

Join a club like Toastmasters and work on your public speaking skills.

Start a blog.

Start a YouTube channel.

Make cool things and sell them online. Or share them for free, if you want.

There are so many ways to improve yourself. The first step is to look for something that interests you and work at getting better at it.

The world will be better off.

And so will you.