No More Caffeine

I’ve quit caffeine more times than you can shake a stick at.

For days, weeks, months even.

Then, one day, I’ll feel it.

Maybe I stayed up too late the night before.

Maybe I needed to get up extra early.

I’ll see a vending machine. Or a gas station.

“Just one won’t hurt.”

Right?

A few weeks ago I saw this:

Caffeine doesn’t give you energy, it just keeps you alert.

I knew that already.

I didn’t know it triggered the release of dopamine and cortisol.

Dopamine addiction is the reason the reason it’s so hard to just quit porn.

Cortisol is also known as “the stress hormone”. Elevated cortisol levels make it harder to lose weight.

I don’t drink coffee. It’s against the Word of Wisdom. It’s also gross.

Almost all of my caffeine has come from Mountain Dew.

So has a lot of my weight.

So by continuing to drink this stuff, not only have I made myself fat. I’ve also been causing myself extra stress, making it harder to lose weight, making myself irritable, AND making it harder to quit porn and get to the Temple.

If that’s not reason enough to quit, I don’t know what is.

Self-Sabotage

I’ll quit doing something.

Something I know isn’t good for me.

I’ll quit for days. Weeks. Months, sometimes.

Then I’ll go back to it. Like a dog to its vomit.

Yum.

One example is Mountain Dew.

I know it’s not good for me.

I’ve quit many times. Sometimts for months.

Then I’ll go back.

Sometimes I’m tired. I didn’t sleep well, long enough, got up too early, etc.

Other times I’ll crave it for no apparent reason. Even after months away.

I just want a taste.

A taste won’t hurt.

Of course, it’s never just one.

Tomorrow I’ll want another.

I’ve been sucked back in.

Why do I do this?

I’d weigh half as much if not for the sugar water.

It’s unhealthy.

It makes me feel bad long term.

So why do I do it?

Especially after so much time away?