“Don’t tell people your goals”

Is this a good idea?

Or do I need people to hold me accountable?

I suspect the answer is, “A little from column A, and a little from column B.”

Are there positive people in your life who will help and support you? Tell them.

The crabs can stay in the dark. They’ll find out what your goals were when you accomplish them.

“Only Say Positive Things”?

I knew it was extreme. I set an extreme goal on purpose.

I’m not trying to set a realistic goal. I’m trying to stretch myself.

Explaining my present situation may help.

I’m usually alone in the mornings. I write, do my mirror work, listen to uplifting music, read uplifting books, list things I’m happy about/grateful for, etc.

It’s easy to be positive during those times.

Most days I see my boys. This is one of the things I’m most grateful for.

They and their mother live with their grandparents.

These are not positive people. Not by a long shot. These are angry, bitter people, who have no interest in improving themselves.

By the time I leave I’ve been taken down a few notches. It’s worth it to spend time with my boys. I love seeing them, and they love seeing me. I hope my efforts are helping them.

I’m looking forward to meeting super positive people. People who will be a bigger influence on me than the negative people in my life.

Until then, I do what I can.

Toxic Positivity?

Believe it or not, positivity can have a dark side.

There are people who refuse to acknowledge anything as negative. Some even say everything is perfect as it is. That it can’t be any other way.

I think for the most part people should be positive.

Focus on the good.

Be optimistic about the future.

Not everything in life is positive, though. Maybe you’ve noticed that. 😉

Problems still exist, whether you are willing to acknowledge them or not.

But it’s better to approach problems with a solution-oriented mindset.

Some people experience setbacks in life and throw up their hands. “Nothing ever works out for me!”

Setbacks are lessons. You have to be willing to learn from them. To use them for your growth.

If you start a business and it fails, don’t give up. Figure out why it failed. Then try again. Learn and start again. Repeat until you succeed.

Don’t ignore the problems in your life. They rarely go away on their own. They usually just get worse.

So yes, be positive. But be wise in your positivity.

“Only Say Positive Things”

In his speech, “The Strangest Secret”, Earl Nightingale issues a challenge. He says to keep a card in your pocket for a month. On one side should be your goal for that month, and on the other side should be Matthew 7:7-8:

Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:

For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.

Look at the card several times a day, to remind yourself of your goal.

My goal this month is, “Only Say Positive Things.”

I underestimated how difficult this would be.

I have a tendency to complain. Quite a bit.

It’s hard to feel good about life when you complain so much.

It’s also hard to believe it will get better.

The month is still young, though.

I intend to achieve my goal, even if it takes several months.

It will be easier to achieve my other goals once I do.

School your emotions

Emotion Clouds

Your emotions come in response to your thoughts.

Train yourself. Learn to control your thoughts.

You can’t control which thoughts come into your head. But you can choose which thoughts to entertain.

Dismiss the bad ones.

Focus on the good ones.

What you focus on expands.

Most people focus on the negative.

Changing your focus is hard. Some of us need professional help to change. That’s nothing to be ashamed of.

Leave reminders for yourself. Sticky notes. Photos. Anything that helps you remember what’s good in your life.

One thing I like to do is make a game of it. Especially when I get annoyed in traffic. I’ll ask myself what I’m grateful for, and start making a list. I try to not just list things, but to actually feel gratitude for each thing. It always helps. Sometimes I get really emotional.

I’m not perfect at this. I forget to do it.

I still get mad. I still yell at my kids.

I don’t stay mad as long, though. My kids are better off.

So am I.

Your Top Five

Top Five

You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.

Jim Rohn

Who do you spend most of your time with?

Who are your biggest influences?

Do you want to be like them?

How are they doing…

Spiritually

  • Do they pray morning and night?
  • Do they go to church regularly?
  • Do they read the Book of Mormon daily?
  • Do they pay their tithing?
  • Are they temple recommend holders?
  • Do they attend the temple frequently?
  • Do they “Seek first the Kingdom of God”?
  • Are they humble?
  • Are they really trying to be their best selves?

Mentally

  • Do they push themselves?
  • Are they lifelong learners?
  • Do they spend a good amount of time reading?
  • What kinds of books do they read?
  • Do they find other ways to learn?

Emotionally

  • Do you feel good when you’re around them?
  • Are they positive?
  • Are they caring?
  • Are they generous?
  • Do they complain a lot, or are they full of gratitude?

Physically

  • Are they healthy?
  • Do they have any addictions?
  • Do they eat to live, or do they live to eat?
  • Do they exercise regularly?

Financially

  • Do they have a lot of consumer debt?
  • Do they have more money coming in than going out?
  • Are they entrepreneurs?
  • Are they savvy investors?

Maybe not all these areas are important to you. Maybe other areas are more important to you.

Not everyone you spend time with has to be a 10/10 in every area. They should be doing their best and trying to improve, though. If not, you may find your life going downhill.

Who influences you the most? Make a list.

Does that list need to change?