“I wish it need not have happened in my time,” said Frodo.J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring
“So do I,” said Gandalf, “and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”
I’m not as productive as I’d like to be. Who is?
I spend a good amount of time reading.
And I’ve been writing. Drawing. Painting.
I go for the occasional walk.
I’ve also spent quite a bit of time with my boys. That’s always good.
Not all my time is spent so wisely, though.
I spend hours sitting and thinking.
Spending too much time in the past.
It’s good to learn from the past.
But not to live there.
I need to get out and do more.
I knew it was extreme. I set an extreme goal on purpose.
I’m not trying to set a realistic goal. I’m trying to stretch myself.
Explaining my present situation may help.
I’m usually alone in the mornings. I write, do my mirror work, listen to uplifting music, read uplifting books, list things I’m happy about/grateful for, etc.
It’s easy to be positive during those times.
Most days I see my boys. This is one of the things I’m most grateful for.
They and their mother live with their grandparents.
These are not positive people. Not by a long shot. These are angry, bitter people, who have no interest in improving themselves.
By the time I leave I’ve been taken down a few notches. It’s worth it to spend time with my boys. I love seeing them, and they love seeing me. I hope my efforts are helping them.
I’m looking forward to meeting super positive people. People who will be a bigger influence on me than the negative people in my life.
Until then, I do what I can.